You know you posed a really good question, one that I can relate too. I read your post a couple of times as it made me think about myself alot.

Its not the attention I want, although I know being either high or low gets me a level of support I really appreciate. Neither is it that I actually LIKE the drama of life or an episode.

For me I think normal is just plain boring. My medication concoction of anti psychs and mood stabilizers leaves me feeling just blah. Every day I awake to blah blah blah. I dont FEEL unless I am either high or low, life is emotionless , and I think for me, that is why I like the extremes. Oh how I wish I could be on a high more often, but no......just blah.

Don't know if that makes sense, but I know those around me much prefer me being blah to either high or low. So for their sake more than mine I stay blah.