TryingStill,

I recognize from your previous thread that you have found yourself in a situation where for years your sexual focus was solely on yourself. Even recently your sexual activity was in rediscovering yourself. As part of learning the new "you", it will include establishing your own "role identity". Perhaps you will become comfortable with a sexual partnership where you are both working towards mutual satisfaction. It will take time.

I know I have had many hurdles to overcome, and I became sooooo focussed on my lack of feeling and inability to orgasm, that I was avoiding sex and intimacy to avoid the disappointment. I've learned that my lack of feeling in combination with a proper dose of Viagra can mean the world of difference in bed. My focussed has changed from "how am I going to orgasm" to "I hope I have enough energy to last as long a her". I realized that I was getting a lot of sexual satisfaction from my wife getting satisfied. I found that I was very happy to let me wife get on top and "ride" me. There was little chance of me ejaculating before she was ready, and she's able to max-out her sexual pleasure.
I hope you are able to modify your feelings to turn these thoughts into positives. Whether you view it as "her servicing you" or "you servicing her" while she's on top, whatever make you feel comfortable and allows you to focus on the mutual aspects of sexual pleasure.