Quote:
Originally Posted by seraphic
And as a final note, PLEASE, PLEASE do not tell anyone else about your son's sexuality unless he says it's ok for you to share
|
Well, during our talk, I told him I would have to tell her, I just need to figure out the best way. He knows that my wife and I don't hide things from one another.
Quote:
Originally Posted by seraphic
Is there anything specific you're looking for help or support with?
|
Not yet, right now it is good just to get some input from somewhere besides my own head. And honestly, it helps to be able to talk to someone about it with some anonymity.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
If "permissiveness" describes your own feelings, you need to work with the feelings because you would otherwise project negativity no matter what you say.
|
Actually, I meant that I feel society is permissive now, as opposed to before. I can't imagine how hard it was for GLBT persons 50 years ago - it was bad enough when I was my son's age. Obviously, if my son feels that he's gay, I can't forbid (or permit) it - it just *is*. I can't pretend I'm happy about it, but I can make sure he knows it doesn't change my love for him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I am not clear why you suggested the PM route to elaborate - this is a very simple issue that can be discussed publicly.
|
Sorry, still kinda figuring out "how things work" around here. I was thinking that you might wish to elaborate more via PM and not discuss it here in the main thread, but that's really a habit from other forums where people try to "stay on topic". I guess that's not really all that important here - or perhaps I should say that everything is equally important to the topic. Probably not making much sense, I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
Do you personally need society's permission to be straight? If you do not, why do people who differ from you need such permission?
|
Permissiveness isn't an absolute. It isn't like I have to get a license or something to be "permitted" to have a relationship. What I meant by it was that society in the past didn't really 'permit' GLBT persons to be open, whereas to a certain degree it does now. (although as we all know it still isn't easy)
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
That you have this attitude is hypocritical, while allowing same sex sleepovers in light of this disclosure is not hypocritical. If you all of a sudden stop the normal practice of allowing same sex sleepovers, that would be a red flag and a giveaway. So it is probably best to run your life as normally as possible, without allowing changes that are essentially knee jerk reactions.
|
I don't necessarily agree, although you are exactly right about drastic changes being a 'red flag', which concerns me. This is all, obviously, a work-in-progress.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
You have handled it well so far - the suggestions are to handle it even better and be more proactive rather than reactive.
|
Figuring out how to do that is exactly why I'm here. So thanks for the help so far.
