I'm so sorry Back in 1999 I had a friend that I had dated a few times commit suicide, and during the grief one of my really good friends had came up to me and bluntly said that if he was still with me that he'd still be alive. I was 17 at the time and it hurt beyond all means, and so I can understand why you feel guilt, but just remember that it's truly not your fault! We are here for you!