Hi everyone, I recently started reading threads on the PTSD forum and this is the first time I am posting here. I am just starting to understand how ptsd is affecting my life. It is a relief to know that there are reasons why I have such a hard time sometimes.

As far as work goes, the main way I'm realizing ptsd affects me is by causing me to shut down. When I get triggered, I cannot deal with work at all. So I will stay home and ignore emails and obligations. My boss knows some of what I am dealing with and she is very understanding. I also have a work structure where I have a lot of flexibility with my work hours, as long as I get the job done I don't necessarily have to be in the office all the time. I feel extremely fortunate to have this flexibility - otherwise I don't know that I could hold down a more traditional 9-5 M-F job.

Still, this has caused me to be erratic in my job, and I'm pretty sure that some of my coworkers comment behind my back. There have been times when I have wanted to tell them everything that is going on for me. I actually talked to a workplace councillor about this and she advised against it. My work is going through layoffs soon so she said that she didn't think I would get the understanding I want from them because there is already so much turmoil in the department. So I have had to just let go of other peoples thoughts about me. Frankly, a lot of them simply don't have the capacity to deal with what I am dealing with, so if they think badly about me then screw them.