Depression and anxiety hit pretty hard in the afternoon/evening yesterday and I still feel the same today. Sui ideation is high.... I'm not going to do anything but I wish I could just stop existing. I am fooling myself - I don't see anything changing or getting better. That's just the way it is. I don't have hope anymore that things will get better. Even when I get a small amount of relief it always turns to **** again. I wish I could just crawl into a hole and that the world would just forget about me.