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Old Sep 24, 2014, 03:55 PM
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kate33624 kate33624 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2014
Location: Tampa, FL
Posts: 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76 View Post
What did you like about him? How did he make you feel safe and secure?

I don't pose the question for you to answer to me necessarily. It's for you to reflect on. Maybe you've been giving him too much credit for being a better person than what he is. He sounds pretty crummy to me.

It is amazing what women can tolerate from men. I've been there. I think we buy into the concept of "You get what you give." We give a lot, thinking that a man will want to reciprocate. Some are just takers and will never give back anyways near to what they get. (Same could be said for some women.)

You've been more invested in this relationship than he has been. I'm sorry it didn't work out. You probably had some high hopes. But there is no sense being with a man who seems to feel he is doing you a favor by being with you. And he won't change.

You have to go through the pain of the loss, but it's not a pain that will last forever. Eventually, you'll thank yourself. Meanwhile, he will try to contact you and get you back. A person like you is hard for a guy like that to replace. But don't bother with the "Okay, one more chance." He's shown you who he is. At the very least, do not continue practically living with him. It sounds like you made it easy for him to take you for granted.

If you give yourself time to get over the hurt, you might be surprised to find that you will be happier away from him. Being alone is not the worst thing there is. Right now, though, it will kind of be like withdrawal because you got used to coming home to him. Try staying away from him for 2 months, and then see how you feel.
Rose76

I liked that he was responsible and resourceful. He constantly reminded to appreciate what i have and to be happy and never worry about anything.
He made me feel secure because he was so resourceful. He can do any kind of mechanic work so he worked on my car. If i was low on money before payday, he gave me money. He always made sure I ate right and my vitamins out for me so I would remember to take them in the morning.
But.....the bad definitely outweighs the good and I think about the bad a lot. I honestly feel that he won't come back this time. I don't think he really cared about me. If he does contact me, I plan to ignore him. I refuse to let this happen again. "What you allow is what will continue" fits the relationship that I just got out of. I'm still sad and miss him but it gets easier every day. I even volunteered to go into work on my day off tomorrow just to avoid being at home. Work keeps my mind off of it and I get time and a half for coming in on my day off (I work 4 ten hour shifts a week). Two good reasons to work :-)

I would love to hear back from you rose, what you said before really hit home!
Thanks for this!
Rose76