There are times I am tired and can't sleep and won't take my trazodone or anything to make myself sleep because I don't want stressful dreams to exhaust me more. Really hard to cope with this crap, to the point of putting off suicide like to keep going, but not putting it out of my mind as an option just telling myself 'well have to wait till after (insert activity I might enjoy or some responsibility I convince myself I have to take care of first)' don't see how many more years I can successfully do that for though.