This past month I've lost 6 people. 3 of those people died. they were a friend, my tdoc, and my mother. And the one person I had to talk to about this is one of those who died. My sister and i had to make the choice of whether or not to pull the plug if her heart stopped. we told the doctor not to resuscitate. Of course it's hard because she was our mother. We loved her even through the hell she put her through. deep inside she was a good person. she was bipolar as well. Our sister was murdered 7 years ago as well and our aunt died a year after that. The other 3 people just decided to leave because they were tired of my mood swings and outbursts. this has gone on my whole life. either people leve me or God takes them away from me. I just dont know how much longer i can live like this if this is how it will continue to be like. I've begun drinking even more and taking even more klonopin and xanax as well as hydros. Im even drinking at work. I feel like I'm at the end of my rope...