hi there everyone.

so my mom has the tendency to randomly get mad at me for something really dumb but then hold it in and not say anything to me and i always have to figure it out via her negative vibes and the terrible tension that emits from her body being physically present in the room. for one she is upset with me because i dont have a job right now. i am a full time student at college, and use none of her money. ever since shes upset with me about that, she notices and keep tracks of whatever i eat or breathe. it is a suffocating environment. i am always the one that has to be direct and ask her whats wrong even though.
then, randomly, she stop her grumpy mood then act randomly happy towards me. and by this time im the one upset with her and confused with my feelings and stressed even though i dont want to be.
i think my mom is an emotional vampire. she always becomes happy after ruining my mood. i also think she is the contributing factor as to why i have borderline.
im just so frustrated. why was i born to a mother like this.