I'm married, but without kids. Everyone in my family is dead. Those who are alive are no longer in my life and I wouldn't know how to contact them if I wanted.

I completely understand the feeling of not wanting to live. Of being overwhelmed. But just take it an hour at a time. At some point, something will happen and make you laugh again. Then at some point, you'll catch yourself actually having a good time. Then you'll start making plans and looking forward to things again.

You may never completely heal. You won't ever completely forget.
But you will heal and be stronger than you are now.