Have you told your T that you care about her? I think her saying she'd be devastated if you killed yourself is essentially equivalent to saying she cares... but if you want to hear it verbatim and don't want to ask, then maybe tell her you care about her, then pause... maybe if she still hasn't said it at that point say "I care about you and wonder how you feel about me?" Just a thought. The one time my T said he cared was after I told him I cared about him. It seemed to flow with the conversation we were having. It was much nicer than had I asked him. Even after hearing it though, there's still ample room to doubt it, so don't think that it will fill the hole so to speak... sadly it will not.