Good for you Pink for talking about it in detail. That is trust and that is powerful...and I suspect not easy.

I project alot.... but do not always see it. Gotta get in touch with that but that is another thing to admit to that I would rather not cause then that kind of makes me have to admit I am not on target.

You said: (will need to figure out how to do the fancy stuff)
Sometimes I SI just for the simple fact that I noticed that I haven't SI'ed in awhile. I do things to 'stir up' my life-- I told T that I need to do things to ensure that I'm still f***ed up. Because otherwise I feel disconnected.... because being f***ed up is all I know. I would lose myself if I wasn't. I'm just not ready yet.

I notice that you do like to shake things up. How might it feel to be at peace or not feel the need to shake things up and accept them a bit for what they are?