Hi Secret Garden,

At least with me, I did find I was having less urges to hurt myself as I worked on various things in counseling. I still have had urges periodically, but not as much as I did, and generally not as strong either. I realize the wisdom, for me, of working through the urges and getting past it. For me, I think it is a bit like an addiction, as an alcoholic might experience. I really don't want to start up again and have to work hard to stop again. I think it's better just not to start re-hurting myself. So I work hard just to keep myself from harming myself, and keep myself out of temptation. Hope that makes sense.

I can also say that I have struggled with my weight. I was very overweight most of my life. I chose to lose 100 pounds several years ago for health reasons, and part of that was while I was in counseling. I've been really glad I made that choice. I became aware, though, that there had been a lot of reasons that I was overweight. I ate to comfort myself, console myself...at times entertain myself or bring joy to myself. I didn't eat only for nutrition. I also ate to numb or medicate myself when times were bad. I think for me, the extra weight was somehow protective and helpful at times. I wasn't attractive, and knew it, and somehow this was helpful to me. I don't know that I would call overeating a direct form of self-harm in my case, but it was a less-than-ideal situation. I have been glad I made the choice to lose weight, and it has helped me feel better healthwise. For me that was a good decision. It is another area in which it is much easier to make healthy choices (foodwise, in terms of eating) and I can generally follow along with my food plan. It, too, has gotten very much easier with time for me. Again, that's just me, though, and may not be true for everyone. Counseling helped with this, also, even though I started the weight-loss process before I entered counseling.

Wishing you the best - take gentle care of yourself.

Take care,
ErinBear