Sounds like your roller coaster climbs a bit higher than mine, but I get where you are at. I was Dx 8 years ago, and still don't have a cocktail that helps. Just starting out on finding what works again after a year of no meds. I am trying with a new pdoc and therapist, but the things I am doing for myself are making the most difference so far ... Mindfulness, walking, keeping a good sleep schedule, resting without guilt. Accepting that my life path is not what I imagined 20 years ago in college ... And that that isn't a bad thing. Hold on