okay so its like 5 days until im supposed to leave for florida. BUT i don't know if i want to go anymore. Ughh i hate feeling like this, i have been very down the past couple of days. I went and visited my guy friend (S) on sunday and i stayed until Tuesday it was a good visit, but on tuesday i cried all day cause i wouldn't see him for four months and then after that who knows. That started the emotion train downwards, since then i have been feeling bad, crying alot (everyone is at school or work so im home alone and no one knows) I went to jack in the box the other day, started crying then cause JIB was the last thing i ate that thursday night when S tried to kill himself. Im not seeing my T anymore no money. But anyway i really don't want to go. i can handle it, its just a thing. but what the post is really about is that i don't know if i want to go to florida, mom said she doesn't want to force it upon me but they have already bought the tickets, but its sorta kinda hard getting excited going to a place when you have no money, and you know when you get down there you have to buy so many different things. UGHhhh...... well i hate to complain or gripe or anything i know that there are so many people in this world that have less than me, and i know that i might never get this oppurtunity again. i know i will prolly end up going it just seems so much easier to stay here get a full time job enroll in a couple of classes and find an apartment. I dont know. why does growing up have to be so hard???? okay just want to say thanks to everyone for listening to my lame post. I appreciate you all!

<font color=red> It's hard being a snowflake in a world of Cheerios!</font color=red>