I can relate to this in the terms of being able to quit smoking..some years ago. That is a slow self harm... DIfferent bird I know but some days I wish for one... but that almost never happens.

I did lose 48 pounds a number of years ago...then regained plus some. I know that this can happen for me with food. You speak the truth for me in terms of comfort, numbing and medicating.

I have a problem distancing (or not) from people physically and this has provided a function over time but it has really run away with me.

I was sitting watching a baseball game last week...that was a hike to get there. The words that came to me ... TOO FULL. I feel I need to be more cognisant of that and what is not too full....and how to fill myself in other ways.

Congrats to you on all that you have accomplished Erinbear. You have done well from what you have shared in this thread alone.

Do you still recall how it feels to be large? The body and the mind sometimes have difficulty keeping up with each other.