I simply hate divorce - all the advice from 4/20 is sound. I just don't want to push you...if there is a chance you can somehow keep this together. I, also, don't want you to be at point where I was thinking that suicide would be a better choice than divorce. I was completely out of it, and I had no hope at the time. Hence why I was in the hospital a second time in less then 3 weeks.

Coming out of the hospital, I had hoped to make things work right up to the unexpected night I left. That is why it is so important to put some of those item from 4/20 advice into place as you may not have a chance to get back into the house again or have access to these things.

1. Set up an appointment with attorney - the first meeting is free - you can get a lot of information from this meeting. Find out who is the best, find out who is the most affordable for you.

2. You'll still need this - Go to another bank and open a checking with $100 and a safety deposit box for $50. Set up a P.O. Box with the post office so you have a location for confidential information to go to.

3. You'll definately need this - Not sure who takes of financies - if you do make a list and a copy of every single debt invoice and asset. (house appraisals, vehicle registartions) Basically you need to know everything. Put all the information in the safety deposit box. You may need to get any sentimental valued items out of the house also.

4. Any family that could help you out? You will probably need 2,500 to 3,000 for a retainer fee for the attorney. If you have a house and have a line of credit - use it and then close down the line as well as all credit cards once you've used what you need.

It is sound advice either way you choose. I never expected to leave the night before Christmas Eve. My oldest still remembers it as the day his best friend moved out of state and that I left. I still feel awful..