It's a lot of responsibility to put on a person, to expect them to "come after you" if they seem to be retreating, without ever having defined a relationship; certainly it's nothing that could be expected without even a discussion.

A guy I was dating once (but never official BF/GF) started having a real attitude with me a few months in, for absolutely no apparent reason real snippy all the time and would never call me -- I always had to call him. I found it to be a real power-trip move on his part. So I called him on his bluff -- I stopped calling him. It took him a whole month to realize that I wasn't bluffing. That he was gonna have to call me. A whole month of no communication. I considered us broken up, because I wasn't going to be forced into a behavior by his passive-aggressive stance, i.e., I wasn't going to break up with him when it was HIS action forcing the situation. When he realized, he campaigned hard for us to get back together; I definitely wouldn't have had to worry about him making a move like that again, had we rejoined, but as it happened I'd moved on by then.

I'm especially wary of those who make a lot of assumptions about what is happening, that are without any basis in reality, and certainly without any basis in communication. In my opinion, it's disrespectful, as it represents their putting unwritten agreements in place without your input. I think the possibility of a healthy relationship going forward would definitely depend on more communication and clarity around what's happening.. and a modified sense of entitlement where the making of assumptions is concerned wouldn't hurt either. IMO.

I totes think you're onto something that his insistence that you did something wrong is deflective on his part, because he must know at least deep down that he heavily contributed to the situation. Oh well. Just because he wants to hang on to that belief doesn't mean you have to.