Hi there. Welcome. Sorry you have to go through that. All of us here struggle, but we are still here, still alive, because we are survivors and have faith it will get better.

Please don't give up on therapy after one session. Yes, the therapy process can hurt like Hell, and seem like it is making things worse in the short term. But you have to be able to set aside short term pain and focus on the long term perspective of "it was worth it to get to a better place." Think of so many things medical - they do hurt, they are bad to go through. There may be blood and gore. But the long term benefits outweigh the pain, so we endure it. Therapists have to take you to the edge of unmanageable pain but hold you back just enough to prevent you from falling in, so you can see what us there. And then bring you down safely again.