Is he getting any therapy or counseling for his problems? This sounds like typical BPD behavior, but it also sounds like severe emotional abuse. Even if he doesn't have a T maybe you could get yourself a counselor. It sounds like you really need help to deal with this man. Even if he has these problems he can still choose his behavior. There are many people with these conditions that don't behave this way towards their spouse. It seems he think he can get away with all this because he has mental health issues.

Maybe you could sit down with him and tell him how his behavior is hurting you. Have a heart to heart discussion. You don't have to be a martyr for this man. Abuse is abuse.