Yes, this huge gap makes me nervous. I was basically always working from 16-32. I worked full time non uni jobs as an undergrad and a grad student.

I do not want to return to work as I knew it before. The thought of going back to that makes me so ...nervous? anxious? not sure what word I want here? that I postpone thinking about what I will do instead. It's like I start to think of my Plan A and then this voice in my head just keeps saying that I will fail and have to go back to Plan B, working a day job.

But obviously if I do nothing, Plan B becomes the default.

It has been a long time since I generated income via work as opposed to gambling in the market, so doing this would probably be good for me - even if it just reminds me that I really don't want to do that kind of work anymore. The sudden imminent dread of being trapped in an office all day may motivate me to really start thinking about my next steps, something that is way overdue.