(((Whoaminoone))),

Remember, do not go by the views because that doesn't indicate how many members who can post a supportive answer to you are viewing. We do our best to post and be supportive as soon as we get a chance to read ok?

I am so sorry you are struggling so much right now. What you are discribing actually does happen a lot, it is only because often what happens is a person can pair up with another person because that person feels familiar somehow and you are right, that is often a subconscious thing more than a responsible and knowledgable conscious decision. The other thing that takes place that we never see or understand is the hormonal/faramonal influence that comes over us when with a potential mate too. We are often "blinded" by that chemical reaction that takes place for one purpose that is part of nature, to procreate. Often that will last for several years while the woman is very viable in terms of producing offspring. The reason that takes place is in nature as well because human beings need to pair up and stay together to insure survival for the offspring.

As a woman gets older and is less ruled by these chemicals, they will begin to realize things they did not see before about their mate.

Please do not "self blame" for this either, it is not your fault, none of it is your fault.

What you need to do now is take some time to have therapy and work through these challenges and finally "heal", that takes time and lots of patience and self care, but you can work through all this.

(((Caring Supportive Hugs)))
OE