Yeah, I know, Teacake. I should clarify what I meant by "save me". I know they can't do that literally, you have to save yourself from any of these types of problems. But it would mean so much if they were just understanding, patient, cut me some slack and gave me some room, and weren't judgmental, and maybe just maybe even told me they loved me once in a while.

I also want to say this - you should all know by now, I turn every gray cloud into a hurricane, I always go for the worst case scenario in my mind. I wonder if I have a paranoid personality at times, but my general "me" doesn't fit. My father was what they called paranoid delusional. I don't know if that is just an old name for paranoid personality disorder. It was explained to me as being basically schizophrenia without the actual auditory and visual hallucinations, just the mental ones, such as calling my mom a ***** and believing she had sex with 20 or 30 men every day while he was at work.

I don't want them to be as bad as I make them out to be, and I know at times they aren't, but the past couple of years have been especially difficult with these relationships, because I changed and they didn't, because I don't take as much crap from them as I used to, I stand up to them more.