Ok (((Whoaminoone))), it is important to understand that these suicidal thoughts will come but they are just like all the other things that happen in the beginning cycles that come with PTSD. Always remember that everything that comes up, even the suicidal thoughts, "all come in like a wave and then receed and go away", so never act on any of these challenges. Yes, you only know one way out, I hear you, I had that myself, and so do others, but as you work through this in therapy that feeling will slowly get weaker. We have that feeling when we can't think of any escape, but that is not the way it really is, you will gain on that as you get help working through the PTSD and whatever comes forward be it emotional flashbacks, or visual flashbacks.

It was good that you had those gut feelings, you are right though in that you got the wrong advice from that therapist, believe me you are not the first here to talk about "bad therapy".

It "is" important that you have a good therapist and "stay" in therapy, make sure you feel safe and you can utilize these forums for a place where you can get support. You can use this forum, the survivors of abuse forum, and the psychotherapy forum to connect with other members who like you are working through their history. Perhaps you have already interacted in these forums too so you know this already. The PTSD forum is also helpful so when you experience some challenging cycles you will have others here that understand that and can support you as you slowly work through it. I am sorry because I do know how challenging it is for a while, but that will begin to ease up with time so "please" be patient and kind to yourself no matter what comes forward, it will always come in like a wave, and afterwards you can talk about it and work through whatever it is, as you do so you will slowly begin to feel some relief.

((Caring Hugs)))
OE