I have already written to an attorney I know but in the meantime I am hoping that somebody who has been in my shoes would respond. I would especially appreciate responses from California residents, due to the fact that laws vary by state.

In 2011, my ex H, who was then living separately but was still officially my H, wrote a many page letter to our Police Dept (PD) accusing me of plotting against him and the children. The PD did not respond - the letter was completely out of line. Unfortunately, at that time I got scared to death and tried to placate him, which, in hindsight, was stupid and immature, but what could I do? I was frightened to death.

Recently I went to the PD and purchased a clean record.

He is living with our children and he has alienated them. We are about to start a full custody evaluation. For now we are having a narrow focus evaluation and the psychologist writing the report told me that she would recommend a full custody evaluation.

He says that I am cyberstalking the children.

I am not and the accusations are blatantly false.

He indoctrinated my children. One child told the psychologist that I was stalking her after I wrote a very quick email full of praise for her work which appears as #1 result on the google search for her name.

The stipulation that governs the current narrow focus evaluation directs the parties to give their best efforts to the rehabilitation of the children and me. Clearly, what ex H is doing is not helping that, and my family lawyer has scheduled a contempt of court hearing for ex H's continuous hostility etc.

However, this is just because what he is doing does not help my relationship with the children.

I think that I might have other rights, not in connection with the children but simply as an individual, since ex H repeatedly accuses me of criminal behavior and such accusations are not made in my face only but are conveyed to third parties, such as the PD or the psychologist.

I certainly feel very stupid realizing what a pile of crap I married and cherished for years, but right now I want to act in a smart way for a change.

On this board people report such horrid behavior by their exes that I am hoping that somebody has been in my shoes and has handled the situation well enough to give me advice.

Thanks for reading!