And I haven't slept well. Insomnia kicking in again this past week, though not as bad as it could be. 4 hours is still double what my average is when things get really bad.
I'm anxious about session. I brought up the concept of this negative transference via message, and now I want to run from it (and t). I keep thinking she is mad at me and disapproving. I don't know how to shake the feeling. I'm pretty sure it's all related to the past, but knowing that isn't helping ease it. I just want it to be 10 am already. I want to face this and see if I can figure out if it's as bad as I fear... at the same time, I want to run and hide. I'm desperately seeking this safe place that doesn't end up feeling safe because of the triggers...
I don't know what I need right now. Pocket riders? Someone to tell me I'm a whiney brat and need to shut up? I dunno. Sorry.