First....you are not a whiny brat and you don't have to shut up.

The anxiety is understandable, you have a lot to discuss, and I completely understand the worrying about what T is thinking.

Give it time, I think this T is fairly new for you right? It took me ages to feel less like you are feeling re trusting T. Still working on it at 19 months! You can do this!

Goodluck for your appointment. Sending positive thoughts your way.