I embrace them, I think of who I could possibly hurt, I thinking about tomorrow begin a better day, I think about the possible pain I would feel, I think about all the good days I have had, I think about burning in hell even though I'm an agnostic, I plan out every little detail to the point I know I would feel regret, I think about all the cool movies I wouldn't get to see, I think about how I might miss world peace or world war 3, again I think about all the lives I've touched in a negative and positive way, I think about all the lives I could touch in both a negative and positive way.

I've had an attempt, survived and never acknowledge it until a year or so later.

I've been hospitalized once for suicidal intent.

One antipsychotic stopped the thoughts completely, but had crazy side effects.

I accept my thoughts and feels. I valence the pros and cons.

I still have suicidal thoughts almost everyday all day but fear of the unknown has become greater.

I suggest you get to know yourself better.

"Life is precious" is what a former pdoc told me