It's very possible that if you continue with counseling and strengthen your self esteem you will find the strength to leave him. You may love him, but at what cost? You may discover with healing that he's just not worth it. Part of the problem with people like us, who have been severely abused by people we love, is we maintain that same pattern because it's so damn familiar.

With healing you could break the pattern. And don't sell yourself short about finding someone new. I met my current, incredible partner of 10 years when I was 47 and, believe me, I had baggage.

Keep working with your T. You'll know when the time is right to leave your abuser.