Hi Dumblelydore,
From the beginning.......you are not a coward, you are not pathetic
And weak.........well some of the strongest people can suffer from depression, not only before it hits but during as well..........sometimes it can take so much strength to battle the depression to do really simple day-to-day things, right?? Things you'd do otherwise without the blink of an eye, yes??
And for you you to open up and tell him about it..........that takes strength in itself, OK??
And I'm really sorry you got the response you did from him.
If someone shouting and getting angry at him cured his depression, IMO it's highly unlikely that he was suffering from depression and it sounds as if he really doesn't understand/want to understand what it's actually like.
So I'd say that now is the time to focus on you, on making it through the way you're feeling, which is probably going to be a lot easier without him. I know the breakup probably hurts a lot right now but you need to put yourself first.
And please don't let his response put you off telling other people about how things are for you, there will be much more understanding people out there. And maybe there's someone in your life that you think might be understanding??? That you might be able to talk to just a little, for starters??
And some professional help?? Do you think that you could get some (more?) professional help?? Again that does not make you weak to need help. Depression can be so overwhelming, so all the help you can get with it, right? You deserve that!!!
And of course we can be here for you too
So welcome to PC!!! And if you want to talk some more............
Alison