Thank you for the responses, taking it out my chest helped.
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Originally Posted by Jaybird57
I'm so sorry this "termination" talk hit you out of the blue, especially after you were so looking forward to the session and an opportunity to reconnect with your therapist. I don't know about you, but when I'm not feeling well, the world and everything else looks so bleak and painful. Perhaps your health issues are contributing to your pain and confusion right now.
I think your therapist truly didn't or hasn't understood how much pain you've been experiencing over trying to deal with your issues. I think a lot of us sometimes think that we're bothersome when we really dig down and tell our therapists how we're REALLY feeling. But our therapists can't read our minds. They can't know what is inside of us unless we tell them. I do think your therapist missed cues from you that you've been stressed. Instead, she took you at your word and thought things were going well. It's her job to at least talk about termination if her client is doing well and need to "go out and spread her wings". You aren't in that place and you spoke here that you need more support, but you didn't tell her in session. She did, however, pick up that you were "tightening" up when she brought the subject up, so on some level she is still connected with you and aware of what might be roiling beneath the surface. It's important that you go back and let her know what you are truly feeling DEEP INSIDE. Don't hold back. She'll actually appreciate your honesty, and it seems that from what you stated, she will happily follow your lead and continue your sessions.
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My health is actually bothering me. I am redeveloping the symptoms of when I was little. Skin diseases, temperature and so on and that's also why I can't stay this way.. thank you so much, you reply was really helpful.
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Originally Posted by Bells129
A similar thing is happening to me right now. My T is talking about termination or not seeing her as regularly and we've only just started to make progress. I think we need to tell our T's exactly how we feel, being completely honest with them even if it's hard to open up.
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I'm sorry this is happening to you as well, I find it really distressing. And opening up is even more difficult.
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Originally Posted by IndestructibleGirl
Re the bit in bold - I know you say you can wait until next week, but are you sure you aren't just kind of punishing yourself by making yourself wait and avoiding saying what you need to say?
This T responded to you when you contacted her in times of need before, and you don't abuse the contact. From your OP I get the sense that this was really quite upsetting for you. If it will cause you to be upset for the rest of the week until your next appointment, I think you should call and let her know, rather than stewing all week.
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On the one hand I would really like to contact her now but I also fear the risk of not getting any reply this time and this would be the very last thing I need right now.. I want to try to get through the next 3-4 days and if I make it, I might take the chance to prepare a letter. Since I am really horrible at talking about feelings and I've gotten worse lately. But this is so embarrassing.
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Originally Posted by ombrétwilight
Maybe you would want to inform her about how you actually are? Sometimes a lot of therapy patients do tend to want to "not let their Ts down", so to speak, and act happier than they really are. It's important that your T knows that you still need her as she will definitely be there for you. You don't have to go through this alone! 
I am also terminating in a month (and I haven't seen my T for 2 weeks) as I'm graduating. It sucks because there is no way out of it!  |
Thanks ombrétwilight! I'm sorry. I also struggle to understand these dynamics of never seeing each other again or stopping with sessions and so on. Well I do understand it and the reasons behind. But I struggle to accept them.. btw, you are graduating.. congratulations
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Originally Posted by HazelGirl
How about telling her what you've posted here? She can't read your mind. She doesn't know that you're so distressed. Why would you just take what she says? You need to be there every week, so fight for yourself and make sure you are there.
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Thanks.
You are all right about her not reading in my mind.
I contributed to it. She asked, what's going on? and again, "Yes, but I want to know what's been going on inside during these 2 weeks" And I said, I'm good thanks! and I wanted to tell her how much I am struggling but I really have no idea how to describe what I have inside. And I didn't want to go there again so I talked about the progress.. now I'm afraid to talk about the bad feelings. But they were already there, they've been there all the time. And since she has always understood me so well, I was wondering if the truth is that I'm fine and she is actually right and I'm just being whiny. But I don't know, I feel so bad that I'm not sure I'm well enough to be so alone. At the same time... I don't know if I'll make it to ask this. I would feel so pressured, like T was silently waiting for a signal to distance the sessions. And I will hate to look whiny.
And again thanks for reading all that..