Sorry to hear your situation but I can identify totally- I have been my husband's "enemy" for years! Each day I wake up hoping that this will be the day that everything goes back to the way it was, but that never happens. Luckily, my children are grown and out of the house so they do not have to experience the insanity of it all but it only makes me doubt mine more. I hope that for your sake and your children's sake your wife gets the help she needs.
Keep hanging in there!
Ruth