I have had Major Depressive Disorder now for Years. I also Suffer

from anxiety, PTSD, and OCD! I think that hardest part I am going through

right now is getting through the Suicidal and Self Harm Thoughts. Very rarely

do I get to plan and action. I suffer from nightly (and I mean every night) Flash

backs of my Childhood abuse. From the time I was three years of age until I

was 17 years old I experienced Mental, Sexual, and Physical abuse. When my

Step father passed away on the operating table I just stuffed it inside for over

18 years. The summer of 2009 we moved into a new house and I started

unpacking stuff that I have not seen in years and it was like a time bomb.

Everything just started flooding out like a river. I've been in and out of mental

hospitals for the last five years, the most recent one being Aug21st through

Sept 3rd. I have a great Therapist but am currently looking into changing my

Psychiatrist because I do not feel relaxed when I am in his office. I have no

fight in me for myself! The only reason I am still here is because I want to live

for my husband and 18 year old son. The pain is so powerful and hearing that I

need to let it go and move on or they are not hear anymore to hurt you, does

not make me feel any better. I need to talk about what happened. I am doing

that with my Therapist but as she and I agreed I have about Three closets full

of crap to clean out and it's just going to take time.

Well there is my story in a nut shell!! I hope I can get the support I need to

get through this. Please help me. If not as friend then just a fellow supporter

that might understand the pain I am going through and how long it's going to

take to get back to where I feel Healthy again.

Until later,

TimeforHelp