Here's an exerpt from today's journal....inspired by mouse's Abott and Costello post...though very different.....this is not meant in jest....I actually wrote it into my journal and then thought it might be a good idea to post here, to see if others have had similar experience.

This is my fair warning to those who are easily triggered.....
This interaction is totally fictitious, inspired by parts of my therapy session today. I was talking to t about my need to talk about very deep and intense feelings at times. And would she be able to help me explore them instead of shutting me up, as my previous t did. We talked about it until I felt ok with her response.

Here's how I do NOT want it to go:
Me: I feel like killing myself (notice I said, I feel like, not that I am going to...)
T: You're not yourself. I want you to go see a psychiatrist.

Versus:
Me: I feel like killing myself.
T: You don't sound too good. Tell me about it.
Me: I just can't take it anymore! I'm gonna take them pills tonight and be dead in the morning.
T: It hurts that much to be alive?
Me: Yes, the pain is so unbearable i don't know what else to do other than kill myself. Then all the pain will be gone. For good.
T: Can you talk some more about the pain. What's the pain about?
Me: I hate myself! I'm so BAD! It hurts to be so bad!
T: (softly) Is there anything I can do to help?
Me: (touched by her availability, i begin to sob)

T's willingness to be present as I talk about the pain, helps to reduce the level of pain. I leave the office feeling lighter.

Frankly, I'm not sure I'm ready to hear any critical responses. I think to delete this post, but I have a feeling that others can relate, so......click....