01. I thought it was my fault we had worst ice storm in history a week after I was born.

02. I got beaten so bad when I was a toddler that I dissociated and watched it from the corner of the room.

03. I got beaten so bad when I was a toddler that I dissociated and watched it from across the yard.

04. I was raped and sodomized by an older brother when I was 3 years old and I still have a double scar under my bottom lip where he slammed my face into either the tub, toilet or sink and my teeth broke through the skin ... It happened in the bathroom.

05. My sister almost cut my little finger completely off by yanking a knife out of my hand when we were toddlers.

06. My mother slammed me head first into a coffee table when I was 4 years old and I had to get four stitches.

07. My mother sexually abused me from the time I was 3 years old until I turned 18 years old.

08. My older brother(s) set fire crackers off on a yellow jackets nest when I was a toddler and I got stung so badly I had to be put in the hospital.

09. My mother would have my pets put to sleep then torment me about it while beating me.

10. I often ate dry dog food out of the pantry because I didn't get fed regularly or properly and was often hungry.

11. I'd get beaten when caught eating the dried dog food.

12. My older siblings liked to tease and torment me when I was being punished and then I'd get beaten again for lashing out at them in anguish.

13. My parents had friends in the medical profession who'd cover up their abuses of me by patching me up, sending me back home and keeping quite about it.

14. I found it easier to get beaten than to endure the verbal and emotional abuse.

15. The verbal and emotional abuse is proving harder to overcome than the sexual and physical abuse.

Okay ... I've got to stop now ... I know there've got to be some good memories in here somewhere ... I'll try to find them and post them ... Otherwise I'm going to feel my whole life has been a total loss.