Another exerpt from today's journal:

With mn (her initials, fictitious of course) I get the sense, based on her responses to me, almost as if she’s saying, I’m not gonna be like your other t, I’m gonna save you, I’m gonna behave. When that’s not really what I need to hear. I need to just have my fears validated, my untrusting validated. Like if she would say something like I know it’s hard to trust after that…it’s understandable…take your time….when you’re ready….
I’m angry at me for trusting her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!alreaddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!so soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i need to let her EARN my trust!!!!!!!!!!!!!don’t give it away so soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!