Normal is an immediate awareness of how unnormal I have become, courtesy of the knowledge gained through intense and torturous emotional extremes which are routinely compounded by a persistent state of disinterest, varying cognitive deficits, and the life that naturally arises in consequence of those conditions.

Being normal or stable is, for me, when being depressed or suicidal is not a constant part of my life as it is then I am most able to distract myself from how unpleasant it is to be so far from normal, whatever that actually is.