I focus on a problem I need to solve in order to improve my situation. Though I've honestly just grown accustomed to thoughts of suicide.

I accept suicide as an action I can use to cease being unbearably miserable. To me this life is all there is, so if I am incapable of deriving meaning from it then continued actions attempting to do so are entirely futile. When will that point be? I don't know, and until I do I'll continue trying to solve one problem after another.