Yeah. I learned early that my feelings were not important and that my purpose was to be there for others. Having my own emotions and expecting my overburdened mother to be there for me was selfishness. I had *such* a bad reaction to previous T when she was accepting of me. I felt like she was patronizing me and pretending not to be disgusted at my pathetic whining.
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it's like how animals always stifle sickness and distress and don't indicate that they're in pain. It's because if they do, they're hot on the menu. They're vulnerable –* completely open to attack.
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I understand completely. This is something I perfected in my marriage. Rather than comfort me when I'm upset my H will attack me. And I have to hide my emotions well - he's like a shark smelling blood in the water.
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'...
At poor peace I sing
To you strangers (though song
Is a burning and crested act,
The fire of birds in
The world's turning wood,
For my sawn, splay sounds,)
...'
Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue
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