I haven't cried yet in therapy, but I've come close twice. When I'm talking about CSA or other difficult issues I tend to zone out or be very matter of fact. My T has brought this to my attention and we discuss why. He's told me that he'd like for me to cry because he thinks it will be a relief and very healing. He's probably right, but it's difficult to be that vulnerable.

One time that I did come close to crying was after I was telling him about a particular incident that I had never told anyone because I didn't think I would be believed. Not only did my T believe me, but he acknowledged how awful it must have been. I noticed him start to tear up and I truly felt connected to him. I didn't want to cry because it happened to me, but because it was such a relief to be believed and understood.

And this is rather vain, but when I do think about crying I think about how awkward it would be to leave crying or looking like I had been crying. I have to take an elevator from the office and it would be horrible to be stuck in the elevator with other people knowing that!