You can learn everything that a therapist knows, sure. One way to do that is through independent study and/or classes, but I'll second what pinksoil said - I have also learned much more from my therapy than I have as a graduate student training to be a therapist. I suspect that most if not all of the best therapists have also learned the most important stuff the same way - through their own therapy and life experiences. The academic side helps to make sense of stuff that I didn't make sense of too well before, but a good therapist can teach you what you need to know. What I'm saying is that there is a lot more to it than just reading a few books or taking a few classes.

You could also learn everything that a doctor knows, or everything that a mechanic know, or everything that a dentist knows, or everything that your university professor knows. Note that those are all separated by "or," not "and." We can't all be experts in everything. There is just too much to learn, and it would take too long and eventually exceed our capacity. When your car breaks down, do you want to wait until you learn how to fix it, all on your own with no help, or will you go ahead and take it to a mechanic? How about when your are sick, or you have a bad tooth? Even if you do know how to treat that yourself, would you? You can learn everything that your professors have learned, so what is the point in going to school? I'm sure that you can think of more examples if you try.

You will always be the only expert on yourself. The therapist is an expert on how to change and become the person you want to be, and on how to figure out what it is that you need to learn in order to do that. Therapists help to encourage you and keep you on track. You know what? self-help books work, but only *if * people do the work that is in them. Therapists help you to do the work and not just study it. And, like others have said, when you are learning new social skills and relationship skills, you need a relationship to practice them in. At first, you need to try things out and it might not work the way you expect. Do you want to try that out on your family and friends right off the bat, or maybe would it be nice to practice with someone who can give you feedback and still understand that you are learning and practicing, and not get upset at you because they didn't like the way it felt.

Have you learned to validate yourself or to accept validating from your family? Chances are, you wouldn't be here if you did. Therapists are able to interact with you in ways that others in your environment don't, so they can fill in the gaps and give you the social experience that you haven't gotten.

You don't have to go to a therapist, and people do overcome many life obstacles without a therapist, but for some problems and situations, it's so much easier with help from someone who knows what they are doing and has your best interest at heart and can see you objectively and help you to be honest with yourself and see yourself without all the distortions.

TC,
Rap