Yes, actually. I write, so, I've given her hundreds of pages of content at this point, but much of it was intended directly for her. It was still nerve-wracking sharing it, even just waiting a day to hear back sometimes.

But recently, about a month ago, I gave her something no one's ever seen before, that I hadn't even looked at myself really in about twenty years: a few direct excerpts my teenage journals. They date from the most intense period of my adolescence/early adulthood when I was still entrenched in therapy, dealing with the fallout of disclosing abuse and processing all the traumatic memories and sexual issues that came with them.

This is raw, awkward, incredibly painful stuff. It caught me unawares when I first decided to open it back up. Dissociation and extreme distress followed. For a while, I'd tell her I'd read them, but not what. Then I'd allude to very general issues, such as bad dreams I'd had then and such. Finally, just about 30 days ago, in a fit of courage or desperation or idiocy, I typed up, verbatim (oh how I hated that!!!) three entries from my journals, so she could see, first hand, how terrible they were. Shocking, disturbing, very earnest writings of my experiences at 15-17.

I had to back away from the material after that. Pushing to share them was incredibly taxing and upsetting and I really needed some time to recover afterward, so we've backed away from that material for a bit. I've come to peace with it a bit better since then. Mainly now, I'm needing my present day life to stabilize a bit, and then I want to cover that material again, it's just w/so much on my plate right now, I don't have extra energy or equanamity to process it all.

I actually like your idea of handing it over for reassuring comments though. My T tried to reassure me but she kind of made incorrect inferences, not awful but off-target a bit, so I think some basic reassurance along the "oh my I felt so sorry for you reading that" would be pretty nice.