Hey ComicRose I really appreciate your responses thank you for caring. I feel a little better if I shave and do my hair but once I catch sight of myself in the mirror I think "what a fking monster" Is body dysmorphic disorder a possibility too? I find I relate to it alot. Yeh I really did love eating healthy. I would go out and buy fruit and veg and other health foods all the time haha. There was a time when I was into healthy eating and excercise and going out in the sun and taking care of my appearance but since I got no results I just gave up :/ It wasn't making me happy. I was still down. I don't see a point in doing anything (like having a successful career) since I have no significance in this universe so it doesnt matter if I fail at life right? I don't believe theres anything to live for.