Alex,
You did such a beautiful job describing the confusion you feel when encountering all your different parts. So, Im certain you can tell your T this as well. sometimes when i am feeling that intense i wait a week or so until i can manage the topic without falling apart. It has a way of coming up anyway when it's ready to.

And a month? Suuuuch a long time. You are so brave to go back! Bravo!

((((((Alex))))))