I went yesterday and it went ok. I did give her what I wrote (fixed the printer the night before because I knew it would be difficult to talk).

I hadn't really paid attention to the paperwork when I filled it out, but they mainly do brief therapy (12 weeks) then generally terminate or refer out. I hadn't really paid attention to it because I thought I was moving from the region after about 6-10 weeks, but that has since changed. She mentioned the "normal" program length yesterday, but I was pretty spaced-out and didn't really catch the context she said it in... so how do you build trust and get to those issues in 3 months? If therapy is supposed to be so short, are those expectations of her getting to know me better still as unrealistic? A bunch of the issues I had mentioned on intake have abated a bit, but I'm not sure how much of that was a result of therapy with her, and how much is just it's natural ebb and flow of my symptoms. I guess that's another thing I need to address with her.

I think she had mentioned something about the transference issues potentially being growth opportunities. I tend to agree. But I'm confused I guess... Because I was out of it, I'm missing a lot of the meaning behind this session.

Sorry, I think I'm just processing this through this post right now, so it may not make sense.

At the end of session, we agreed to go over my art journal next week (which is something I've really been wanting to do for a while). I'm finding my anxiety growing though. I suddenly don't want to show her any of it... it's too vulnerable.

My head is all conflicted right now. As relieved as I felt when I left there, confusion is reallly setting in now. I dunno. We are working a bit on self esteem, and it's bringing up other stuff, which is bringing up the transference, which is making everthing so confusing...