Around lunch hour yesrteday my father in law passed away, He had water on his lungs.

I have never been one to cope with lose let alone death.

I feel very empty, lost and alone. I also feel very angry. Although my ex husband an I are not talking at this point in time he could of at least let me know that his father died.

I had to hear and learn about it from my fifteen year old son who learned it from a friend of mine.

Other then feelong really angry with the ex I don't know how else to describe how I feel. I just want to shut down inside until the pain goes away.

I lost my own grandmother back in March of 2004 and only finally was able to cry for her April 4th of this year.

I just hae to keep telling myself that I am a surviver and that I will get through this. But honestly I feel like I am lying to myself.