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Old Sep 28, 2014, 11:25 AM
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WorkhorseDVM WorkhorseDVM is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2014
Location: IL
Posts: 206
Quote:
Originally Posted by cmorales View Post
I am relatively stable right now. I'm still not used to it because I went most of my life without meds and even though they have been stabilizing me for months, I am just not used to it - I don't know if I will ever get used to it. I understand the "boredom" previously mentioned. It's almost doesn't feel right or natural to be stable and I sort of miss my mood swings because, even though I am "stable" I don't feel normal. It doesn't feel like I am me. It still feels like instability is my norm and this stability I am feeling now is not the real me. But I know it's for the best to feel this way as opposed to the extremes - I guess.

I first started to realize my stability when I stopped feeling things so intensely. My emotions were hushed a bit, you know, they stopped being so extreme. My mind slowed down a bit. I still can't concentrate much but at least I am not jumping from one thing to another to another to another. I stopped getting so agitated over the littlest things and I sort of just chilled out a bit.

I am sooooo NOT stable yet. But you just described what I have been thinking / wondering about. What / Who in all this is me? I do know that I need to be calm cool and collected to keep my job.
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Bipolar 1 mixed manic severe with psychotic features,
Harm OCD
TRAZADONE 150 mg,
DEPAKOTE 500 mg AM / 1000 mg PM,
SEROQUEL 12.5-25 as needed, 50-100 mg PM,
LITHIUM 150 mg PM
N-acetylcysteine (NAC) 1200 AM and PM

JR