I've also felt like there's nothing to live for and I've been right on the edge, if you know what I mean. But then I thought "Okay, if I died tomorrow, that means I just have one more day left." And that made me really appreciate that day. Maybe you need to take every single day as if it were literally your last. Sometimes depression happens because our life looks like a looong drawn out road with infinite days ahead of us and that alone is tiring. Changing your perspective on how long you have left on this world makes everything look a little brighter, taste a little bit better, sounds are a little more precious, and your body begins to feel a little more capable.
Imagine you only had 24 hours left. What would you want to do? I don't mean go skydiving or run out and get a tattoo, I mean what would make you appreciate this last day on earth a little more? What would you want to spend the last moments doing? Being happy. Period.
As far as the body dysmorphic disorder, that's always a possibility, but everything you're talking about is really a matter of perspective. I don't know if you'd like this - but here are some people that have helped me a lot on my path from suicidal depression and PTSD to living a life worth living. You can find all these people on youtube.
Bashar (Darryl Anka) - meditation and life advice
Dara Dubinet - nutrition, recipes, healthy living
Alan Watts - meditation and deep thinking
Byron Katie - self introspection
Les Brown - motivational speaker
Moojiji - calm meditation
Lisa Nichols - motivational speaker
Benjamin Smythe - gives advice about life
Terence Mckenna - probably my favorite guy to listen to about everything
Ralph Smart (Infinite Waters) - on being a better version of yourself
Abraham Hicks (Esther Hicks) - law of attraction seminars
Gangaji - meditation talks

By the way, "ugly" is relative. A lot of people think Kate Moss is ugly and she's a model.