Hello-

I’d like to share my story here because I am at a crossroad and my next move will have major impact on the lives of many, first and foremost with my wife of 20 years, my 3 children (19, 17 and 15) and everyone who touches our lives. I’m many ways, I’m just like everyone else because I too am deep rooted to the world; no-one exists in isolation.

The issues in our marriage are longstanding. Damage has been impacted from both sides. I can’t change the past. My view is that my wife is chronically obsessed with every facet of our children and that alone is more important than a husband or my place as father. This has led to isolated through the years. Today I am a stranger in my own home. Our relationship now is tortured and only directive in nature. Aside for a rare short burst of name calling episodes, our relationship has been respectful and never abusive. We’ve had counseling on 3 occasions, the last ended in my acknowledgement of separation. I’d like to skip separation process altogether, I believe my life over the past years at home (isolated) has been the separation.

My intent now is to leave swiftly and minimize any negative impact on my wife, my kids, or me. I’ve begun the process of cleaning out most every material thing in my possession. This has a calming effect on my mind. At first releasing of items was hard, but I find the more I let go of the easier it is gets. My goal is to leave my current home for my family fully intact, yet move out and start somewhere new free of clutter (things). I don’t anticipate need for return to my current home. I don’t want to fight over children, they are near adults now and when are ready can see me on mutual needs.

Perhaps I may end up alone (I am 50 now). However, that is quite alright. I am in good health, attractive and can churn the charm as needed. I have had a really amazing and successful life and outside of my marriage, I am actually doing quite well. My overall goal is to allow myself the opportunity to enjoy moments in life that would typically bring happiness and joy and I would want the same for my current wife. Today, life is dull and gray, most every day and especially on weekends.

I believe my next step is to file for divorce, although I may need to file for separation first. I don’t know, this is my first time at this. I am currently in the process of separation of finances; I am also the breadwinner for the home and family.

This is my story,… any support, recommendations, and prayers would be appreciated in advance.

Thank you.